The world has been extremely saturated with what the ideal “true beauty” is that we have forgotten how to think for ourselves.
As a mom, I deal with the perception of what I should look like daily. To have gained 70 lbs throughout my pregnancy has taken a toll on my body image for sure. I’m used to looking in the mirror at a 105 lb fit body and although I have lost all of my baby weight I know I will never look the same. It took me the past 2 years to realize that what my body did by having my Smudgy was the most beautiful thing it could ever do. Although it is different, it’s still beautiful.
No one in life is perfect. God, I hate that word. Perfect… who decided on what perfect was? What is the true definition and what idiot invented it? The models you see in magazines aren’t even real people, they have been so altered and touched up to show us what they think is ideal. Even social media has filters! Yes, I am guilty of using and over using them too. But why do we use them? Why take a picture of ourselves just to alter it? It honestly makes no sense to me.
There are plenty of times I remember looking at myself in the mirror before an event thinking to myself, “Damn, girl. You hot!” yet the minute I stepped into the room full of people my confidence plummeted while I compared myself to each and every girl in there.
I laugh looking back at those situations. Who are they to dictate how I feel about myself but on the other hand who I am to let myself feel like I don’t compare?
I am enough.
This is a phrase I have to tell my self every day. Maybe not this exact phrase, it differs each day, but some type of positive mantra.
“I am beautiful, strong, and I will succeed”
“I am confident and beautiful. I can achieve anything I set my mind to”
My mantra’s are what get me through the day. I repeat them ten times in the morning and every time I feel inadequate or stressed throughout the day. I just started the habit of mantra’s and I highly suggest it. It might sound corny at first, make you feel silly, but if you say it enough and with true belief you start to feel it, because guess what? You are enough and don’t ever think differently.
I apologized my entire life for being who I am. I had little to no self confidence as a kid, always being picked on throughout grade school. I was a follower when I wanted to be a leader. High school came and I faked my way through, hoping to let no one know I cared about every single thing they thought about me. I just wanted to be liked.
It wasn’t until a few years ago when my husband was sick of my apologizing that sat me down to make me take a good hard look at myself. I knew I needed to love myself and stop faking self confidence to the world and to actually start believing it within myself. I got my ass off the couch and took my first step to self confidence and self love. The gym became my best friend, I ate healthy, and I drank a gallon of water a day. The simple task of taking care of my body already helped the transformation to the person I wanted to be.
Below are some of the other steps I take everyday:
- Stop Following People on Social Media That You Compare Yourself To – Let me tell you darling, nothing is what it seems. I’ve begun to start calling Instagram and Facebook the “highlight reel” of someones life. You never see behind the scenes, only what they want you to see. You know, on that note, just stop comparing yourself to others in general!
- Practice Positive Talk– What you say to yourself becomes your inner voice. Force yourself to have positive thinking. I know its hard and I struggle with it every day but I can vouch to you that it works. Eventually you will start to believe it yourself.
- Take Care of Yourself – Drink water regularly, exercise and get plenty of sleep.
- Create Your Own Definition of Success – The world cannot define what success means to each individual person. So what do you consider YOUR definition?
- Review Your Accomplishments – Make a list of everything you have accomplished in you life. Small. Big. Anything you can think of. Anytime you are doubting yourself, read yourself this list and remember how amazing you are.
- Don’t Dismiss Compliments – When someone compliments us we tend to have a way of dismissing it, “Oh this old shirt? It’s nothing special.” Next time trying just a simple thank you. It will make you feel much more positive and breathe in some good thoughts!
Each one of us has something to offer in this world and let me tell you right now, that person you see starring back at you each morning is so special. Maybe you’re a mom on the verge of exhaustion, a business woman working a 9-5 who dreads work each morning, or you could just be in the middle not knowing what direction to go in life. You, Lovely, have a purpose in this world. There is only one of you. One special, extraordinary you. It took me years to figure that out for myself and I don’t want it to take that long for you.
It’s not selfish to love yourself. Trying to love yourself in a world that’s telling you not too is the hardest thing but let me tell you it can be done. Find your happiness, do what you need to make you feel like a million dollars. Surround yourself with only those that lift you up and pick a mantra in the morning. Say it every day until you believe it whole heartedly.
“Loving yourself isn’t VANITY. It is SANITY.”