I Blog Because of Ms. E
Let’s call her Ms. E (just for the sake of this blog post). She was small, adorable, and dressed for success. She was my high school English teacher. Ms. E was the type of teacher who made you want to sit at the front of the room. I instantly connected with her. She made each of us feel special, like we all had potential and talent sitting inside us waiting to come out. After two years of sitting through her classes I fell in love with reading and writing. I was always decent at both but she helped me to a level I didn’t know existed inside me. I’m not the best at spelling nor grammar. What I’m good at, what she pulled out of my little high school self, is passion.
After college I stopped writing. Anything. Life took over and my 9-5 became my priority. It wasn’t until a few years went by (a few months ago) that I looked at my husband and expressed my need to start writing again.
I sat for years on the idea of a blog. I read and researched more than I’d like to admit. But the trigger was one I never pulled. I thought if and when I started a blog people would see me as self centered, annoying, roll their eyes when they saw me post, and never read a word. Many people probably still feel this way. I’ll be honest. We are all friends here right? Good. Because I was scared. Like most people, I was afraid of being laughed at or judged. Who would really want that, I’m mean, common?
Getting Over My Fear
One rainy Pacific Northwest morning, I just stopped caring. This was something I wanted and thought about for too long. If no one read it, so be it. I felt like Mulan defeating the Huns but the Huns was actually my fear of failure.
(Cue song in head “Let’s get down to business to defeat the Huns…”)
Sorry, back to business!
None of us should let fear overcome our passions. Fearing the unknown. Not being in our little comfort zone cocoon. I try to conquer my fear of failure daily having to remind myself that this is for me. Not for anyone’s approval but my own. This was a chance to escape my own head to write honestly and openly about my thoughts.None of us should let fear overcome our passions Click To Tweet
So Now What?
I was genuinely surprised when people actually started to support me. Friends, family, and even strangers.
You like me? You really like me ?!
Yet no matter the amount of followers I have nerves creep up my spine like a tiny spider every time I hit post. I’m human, I have a fear of rejection every single time. I’m a lot harsher on myself than I should be. Recently I have learned to harness my fear and turn it into creativity. All in all making my blog better! I continually struggle with not caring whose looking and focus on putting out quality content that I’m proud of.
Blogging has become my outlet creatively and mentally. Allowing me to escape what’s inside my own head and let me tell you, there’s a lot going on up there. It’s become easier and easier to sit at my desk and type as words flow through my finger tips onto the screen in front of me. There are drafts and drafts upon drafts of posts saved to my computer. Some I’m too nervous to post and some I’m extremely proud of. Even others I just sit and stare at a title waiting for inspiration to come my way.
Inspiration is a hard one. There’s times when it comes to me in line at the grocery store or at home making dinner. Yes, I do stop everything I’m doing and jot it down. I swear I still have that damn pregnancy brain and I’ll forget it in a minute! Just picture Dory from Finding Nemo meets that dog from Up! Squirrel!
Obviously my blog is no where near a “success” in regards to the “internet blogging world” standpoint. But success to me is each and every one of you readers reading this right now. You may be reading it because you’re my family member and you feel like you have to, a friend trying to support another friend, or maybe you’re a stranger. Then there’s the possibility that maybe all of you are actually genuinely interested.
Whoever you are, no matter why you are reading this. Thank you for your support and time. It actually, truly, means the world to me.
Ms. E, I dedicate this to you. For believing in me and being a true friend.
Blogging takes time and heart. These are the reason's Live Laugh Lauren blogs! Click To Tweet