“Self doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.”
Let’s set one thing straight, we all suffer from self doubt. Your favorite sports player, your boss, the perfectly airbrushed supermodel on TV, everyone. At my 8-5 I doubted my abilities to properly complete any task I was given. So much so it would give me an enormous anxiety attack and would take all the strength I had not quit. I’ve wanted to quit almost every job I have ever had for the feeling of being too inadequate to live up to their standards. In my crazy mess of a head, if I quit I would never have to hear or feel that I failed them or myself.
My self doubt started to get out of control while working one certain job. It became the worst experience of my life as I broke out in hives every time my boss would step in the office. The way she spoke down to me crushed my ability to think of myself as anything more then mediocre. My abilities to do my job were outstanding but because of the extreme self doubt I started to encompass through out my body I had no idea what my true value was. It wasn’t until that job was over that I started remembering what self worth and confidence looked like.
When I started blogging I doubted my ability to portray my words and thoughts correctly. I blog because I want to help others but how could someone like me make a difference? How I am any different, unique, or special? My mind telling me constantly that I would never succeed. There were too many people doing what I was already doing. I can never measure up to those women I wanted to be like. Engulfing me in self defeating thoughts that I would never live up to my own immensely large expectations for myself. I have failed many times before at many things. Why would this be different?
Thoughts of self doubt are paralyzing and when they come into our own minds we start to think they are true. We doubt the large things but it’s mostly the small things that get us. What I like to call our “what if’s”. What if this, what if that? Crippling our self confidence with each passing “what if”.
Self doubt and negative thinking are the 2 most common things that hold you back from your dreams and passions. Holding you back from achieving your YES! It is so easy to talk yourself out of something. That miniature evil version of yourself that bounces back and forth in your brain is the ultimate killer of dreams. Spreading false thoughts as though poison is running through your veins. My favorite quote lately, “you think it, you become it”. Focusing on the negative and giving into the self doubt will squish you little by little. It’s positive thinking that can help you slowly overcome these false idea’s and thoughts about yourself.
Time heals all wounds as the saying goes and I am here to tell you that you CAN do anything! It will take time and the road might not be the exact one you thought you would take but with consistency and confidence you will reach your destination.
Now Lovely, it’s time to turn off everything around you and focus on yourself. Bring out those daily mantra’s and your self care plan, it’s your turn to realize your worth and that you are more than qualified to do whatever you want in life. Doubt it a horrible thing. I picture doubt as a black cloud of smoke slowly making its way from behind you to then engulfing your entire body, you breathe it in, and you get memorized by the fog telling you the opposite of everything you believed about yourself.
Break free of that fog. YOU know what you are capable of. YOU know how great you truly are, just like I know you are! Try and visualize how it started. There was one person down the long road of your life that once told you that what you had to offer the world was just well… mediocre. Do you have that person? How far down the yellow brick road are they in your past? Now close your eyes, I want you to physically see him stand there while you turn and walk away towards your future. Glitter flowing behind you while it catches the wind and your eyes shine brighter as you look into your future. Darling, don’t ever doubt your worth from here on out.
Here are a few steps I will share with you to overcome you self doubt:
- Feel Your Feelings – Recognize when you are doubting yourself. Step back and question why you are feeling this way. Is it valid? Would others think of me like this? Can I really do it or am I just fearful?
- Stop Comparing Yourself – The worst thing you could do is sit and scrooollll for hours on Facebook, Instagram, or honestly anything where you find yourself comparing who you are to who they are.
- Practice Self Compassion– Your voice in your head will take over. Negative or positive. Would you want to look in the mirror and feel love for the woman looking back instead of filling yourself with negative thoughts? Forgive yourself, love yourself, take care of yourself. Self care, self love, self confidence are all the things that will keep you sane and going in this world.
- Read/Listen to Inspiration – If you surround your self with positive inspiration you will become positive inspiration. I enjoy personal growth. Reading everyday and listing to my podcast helps me grow as a person. Read my list here of podcasts you need in your life!
There is one last tip I have for you to overcome self doubt, and it’s a biggy!
Do that thing you are telling yourself you can’t do!
Go do it! I dare you!
Because I guarantee once you do it, you will find out you CAN! Then all those feeling of self doubt will wash away, all the years of thinking because something failed once it could never succeed again, will crumble to the ground. You will finally prove to yourself that when you push that little evil self doubt demon aside you can finally achieve your dreams.
So get out there Doll, climb the tallest mountain, sing in front of a large crowd, or maybe walk into your bosses office and ask for the raise you deserve. Learn your self worth and gain your self confidence back. You can do exactly what you think you can’t do. You are just standing in your own way!
“In a society that profits from your self doubt. Loving yourself is a rebellious act.”